The problem of domestic violence and abuse is of great current concern as more and more cases appear in mass media channels. One of the common patterns is that women who experience physical or psychological abuse do not leave or run away from the abuser. They continue to suffer but come up with many reasons to stay and leave things as they are. Why does it happen? It seems logical to escape the dangerous environment and get to a safer place. However, it may seem logical only to those who have never experienced anything similar. When a person lives in a constant state of fear, the inner fears begin to multiply. Here are some of those that do not let victims make a dramatic decision and escape.helpwriter
No one is going to believe me.
The cause of this fear might be implanted in early childhood when a child complained about someone's abusive behavior but no one believed in that story. The support from friends and family plays a crucial role because then a person knows that there is someone who does not reject and is ready to help.
He will take away my children.
The role of an abuser is often exaggerated in the mind of a victim. It may seem that a husband who has more power can do whatever he wants including taking away the children from their mother. In reality, the abuser is even more afraid of making the truth visible to other people. The more public the news becomes the better. The abuser is left with no power at all.
He will find me anywhere.
Living in constant fear makes a serious impact on how a brain perceives reality. Even when a woman decides to leave and tell everyone what was happening during these recent years, it seems that the abuser is going to find her no matter where she goes. It is important to realize that it is just an irrational fear caused by the years of continuing abuse.
I will not survive on my own.
Sometimes the reason to stay may come from the false idea of being incapable to take care of yourself. Especially if women were financially dependent on the abusers. Abusers often communicate the message of their victims being weak and immature. Nonetheless, everybody can take care of oneself. It is vital to make that first step.
Unfortunately, many women can't identify these fears as irrational. They really stop them from taking a step forward to a safe and supportive environment. It is often the task of social services and psychotherapists to guide them in the right direction.
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